Zebras, Camels, Black Mambas and Ants

First, Zebras:

Several days ago, John Fisher and I decided to go on a little piki (dirt bike) ride in the Great Rift Valley near Kijabe...the goal: find animals and chase them. After 30 minutes of riding on the highway and 20 minutes of riding through 2 feet deep and soft dirt/sand we found some Zebras! There were between 25 or 30 of them (4 of which were little babies) grazing in an open field. So, John and I geared up and chased them for a solid 15 minutes! It was unbelievable...chasing 30 zebras and coming within feet of them made me feel like a wild animal on the hunt, which is fitting because I look like an animal right now.

After zebras, we scoured the valley for Giraffes, but didn't find any...maybe next time

Camels:

Camels on Christmas Eve?? Yes. I felt like one of the Magi. John is on the right.


Black Mamba Christmas:

It definitely didn't feel a whole lot like Christmas this year...no family, no christmas tree, no christmas music and lots of mosquitos. On Christmas Day there were two girls swimming in the pool when they saw a snake hop in the pool with them, swim across the pool and climb out on the other side. After hearing a scream of death I ran over there to see what the problem was...a 6 ft long snake!! Shortly after my arrival, a wise African man came with a ten foot long stick and smacked the mamba on the head several times, killing it. After decapitating the monster, I picked it up (it was just as tall as me) and we determined it was a black mamba (the most deadly snake in Africa). Baller

Ants:

To finish our wonderful adventure on the coast of Kenya, the Fishers and I declared war against the invading ants. If any of you have seen the TV show "McGyver" (sp?) and the episode where those intelligent ants invade the city....the same thing happened to us on Dec. 26th. At around 9 pm million upon millions of ants starting streaming into our house. It was insane! John, Warren and I took it upon ourselves to attack fire, fireworks and DOOM (basically the "cruciatus curse" for ants). We took down well over a million ants in 1 hour and deterred the rest of the ant population from invading with our strategically placed fire works and bon fires. Thanks to McGyver, humans 2 - ants 0

Godspeed and Good Fortune

Kenyan Reboot

I left the orphanage on Friday, Dec. 10th (completing a full 3 weeks of orfanato enjoyment) and made my way to Kenya...it's a completely different world here

-Mozambique:Kenya
-unbearable mid-day heat:temperate, crisp, African beauty
-steady diet of rice and beans:diverse selection of fruits, veggies and meats
-constant irritation from an itchy sweat rash:cool, dry nights that require a fleece and krochet beanie :)
-instant coffee:REAL coffee

But, strangely, I desperately miss MZ and those precious kids at the Orfanato...A big part of me wants to go back right now. I hope to return VERY soon



Update on my Kenyan Activities
Day 1: visited a Kenyan oasis known as Mayor's Ranch and wrestled with a 160 lb. Great Dane named Zeus for 30 min.
Day 2: Toured Rift Valley Academy and enjoyed two glorious hours of basketball
Day 3: Traveled out to "the Kenyan bush" to visit a missionary family camp, tear it up on a slip n slide, and fly off a rope swing
Day 4: Learned how to ride Piky (dirt bike), mobbed out to Mount Margaret (named after a woman who was supposed to be burried at the top), found a tombstone inscribed with the name "Russel Bowker" and renamed the mountain "Mount Russmore"

Next big adventure: Lake Baringo and hippos

Godspeed
Joe

Another Defeat

Yesterday, more soccer....

In a quick 20 min., we found ourselves down by 6 goals...as the "bad guys" were advancing yet again, I attempted a "header" to clear the ball out of our goal box....another miserable failure resulting in an own goal...The 10 yr olds proceded to call our team North Korea and rub our faces into the dust....what could I say?

Today they told me that they have a football...I think I've found my road back to dominance...if this doesnt work, i'm purchasing a basketball

Godspeed,
Joe

Back to Reality

After being on an all-time high from beating malnourished, pre-teen African children at pointless American games....yesterday, I crashed back to earth and collided with reality...

Soccer

I'm bigger, faster and older than every kid at the orphanage...but, yesterday I was practically re-taught how to play soccer...10 year old boys nut-megging me left and right...8 year old girls taking the ball right out from under me...and, literally, EVERYONE running circles around me after only playing for 30 minutes

I'm trying to figure out how to get back on top

Orfanato, Nampula

After living in a Mozambican orphanage for a week and hanging out with 50 portugese speaking kids every day, I've discovered that they're almost exactly same as American kids (with the exception that almost every American child owns an XBox and plays "Call of Duty" without rest, while Mozambican children are lucky to own a deck of cards).

My discovery surfaced on Day 2....Kids LOVE new games!! I was hanging out with Carneto (sp?)and got the bright idea to teach him how to thumb wrestle: "One, two, three, four, let's have a thumb war, five, six, seven, eight, try to keep your thumb straight..." It caught on like wild fire! Now, approximately 20 times per day, a kid offers me a "high five" and it immediately progresses into a short thumb war battle. Naturally, the combination of my competitiveness, "thumb war" expertise and old-man strength means that my W-L record is an impressive 97-5. I keep beating them and they keep asking for more :)

I've made it my goal to teach the kids atleast 1 new "American" game every day...day 3, they wanted to arm wrestle (my W-L: 33-0)...day 4, i taught a competitive variation of "patty-cake" (24-5)...day 5, two games: "finger sword fighting" (16-0) and "2-person keep your balance high-five battle" (25-3)...day 6, "Big cirlce Ninja elimination game" (0-1, i'll come back)...now, it's day 7 and I think i'll teach them "duck, duck, goose" and show them who's boss

Winning feels good...even if its against children 1/2 or 1/4 my size

I'm running out of ideas, so if you know anymore sweet games, share them in a comment!!!

May 10th, 1975

Every single Mozambican thinks I look 35 years old...it's heart-wrenching

Mozambique Bus Facts and The Story

-each ticket can cover more than one person...but, everybody using the same ticket has to cram into one seat. I saw 6 people stuffed into the two seats ahead of me
-average price for a 4-6 hour trip is between 3 and 7 dollars
-most mozambican bus users "kill two birds with one stone" (not literally). The birds: personal travelling and business ventures...I've seen bags upon bags of rice, nuts, salt, etc picked up and dropped off in little villages along the way.....I've seen people transporting chickens, goats, and other farm animals.
-African babies/toddlers DO NOT cry! Last month, I remember whining about how hot i was on a train in Italy...looking back, I'm glad I had my own seat, could shift body positions after losing feeling in my legs and IT WAS ONLY 85 DEGREES!

The Story
So, the very first Mozambican bus route i enjoyed was from Maputo (the capital) to Tofo. We woke up at 4:30 am to catch a 5:00 shuttle that would take us to a 5:30 bus. The bus wasn't terrible...I had my own seat as opposed to the 6 people in front of me who were sharing two seats. To be fair, there were only two women and four children...but still, it looked miserable. 3 hrs into the ride, one of the women ahead of me asked the driver when our first stop would be. He said, "not for another two hours." So, the woman proceeded to take out a plastic grocery bag (like one you would find at Safeway) and hold it open in front of her son...he emptied himself with great satisfaction and was left with a half-leaking bag of piss. Obviously, the mom went to throw it out the window...BUT we were going at least 60 mph...naturally, the wind took control of both the bag and it's contents! I ended up with a healthy portion of urine on my face, glasses and shirt...THANK GOD MY MOUTH WAS CLOSED!!! All I could do was dry off my glasses and laugh. I think there will be a few more stories to tell by the end :)